Funny Quotes, and Phrases

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.


If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils


Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.


Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing


How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?


Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.


He who laughs last thinks slowest